Posts Tagged ‘lily’

Vodka! :)

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

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Yesterday I drinked 200 gr. of Vodka yesterday Night, it was pretty refreshing for me but I got drunk a little.I'm smoking again … Things are going bad in my life recently. I have health issues. And I intend to go to doctor today.Yesterday I went to the polyclinic but my personal Dr. Nikolay  was not there (I was angry, I went to doctor once in years and he is not there) so I'll try again today. I had pains somewhere around the stomach. At least at work things are going smoothly at least God hears my prayers about this. I'm very confused and I have completely no idea what to do with my life. Yesterday I was out with Lily and Kiril on the fountain. The previous day Nomen, I, Yavor, Kiro and Bino went to the "Kobaklyka" (a woody place which is close to Dobrich.) Well that's most of what's happening lately with my life. I wrote a little script to make that nautilus to get restarted if it starts burning the cpu. It's a dumb script (the bad thing is that I'm loosing form scripting, Well I don't script much lately). Here is the script http://pcfreak.d-bg.net/bshscr/restart_nautilus.sh https://pc-freak.net/bshscr/restart_nautilus.sh. The days before the 4 days weekend, I hat to spend a lot of time on one of the servers fighting with Spammers. Hate spammers really! I ended removing bounce messages at all for one of the domains, which fixed the bounce spam method spammers use (btw qmail's chkuser seems to not work properly for some reason) … Also I started watching Stargate – SG1. First I thought it's a stupid sci-fi serial. But after the first serie I now think it has it's good moments :]. Also I had something like a Mortification Day going on during Monday. The whole day I listened to Mortification (The first Christian Death Metal Band). I Liked much the "Hammer of God" album. In the evening Sabin (Bino) came home and we watched some Mortification videos at Youtube. Right now I listen again to "Ever – Idyll" a pretty great song. And yeah I keep listening to ChristianIndustrial.net a lot, a great radio. Try it if you haven't!END—–

Sick again – Hoping God to solve it all – and no desire to study

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

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Yesterday I was out for a coffee with Tony an old frined from the Old metal days, after that I went outwith Lily I drinked 200 gr of Vodka and a Beer. I was pretty desparate actually and I got very drunk I got home 04:10 and got to bed at 4:30. What can I say life is hard. Today Mitko called at dinner time and we drinked a coffee on the fountain. The night we went out in the Central park and drinked a beer per man. I’m starting to think about the meaningless of my life again, since my life seems without a real purpose and seems not going nowhere ( we humans are so weak ). Yesterday I have almost taken the decision to suicide. It almost a miracle after I send lily to her home and was going back home with the idea of my mind to suicide. Lily called and said she can’t unlock the door and everyone inside is sleeping and she didn’t want to disturb them. So we spend more than an hour outside. Today I feel terrible physically again. I really can’t take it anymore I need Jesus to bless me with a healing (Save me Holy Lord, Lord Jesus son of the Blessed God have mercy over me the sinner heal me Lord and Deliver me from all sickness and affliction and pain Heal my Soul, Body and Spirit, make me whole to be able to serve you again :[ Amen) My computer went down twice today I have a problem with the cooling. The cooler should be cleaned but I guess this will happen after our Room’s repair is completed. By the way Both Pc-Freak and Jericho are on the terrace. Because repair works are being done into the room. Day after day I ask my self the question when I will be healed again. I do smoke a lot of cigarettes for which I’m ashamed of myself (But it’s an act of desperation). By the way I don’t have any desire to study anymore I’d like to do things with FreeBSD and learn stuff. If God is merciful to me and heals me probably I’ll continue to live otherwise I guess I’ll end badly. Very often come to the point Nobody out there cares, them I feel the presence of God’s spirit I remember the Bible’s instruction towards doubtful mind and try return back to the Faith of the Eternal, It’s like a sort of schizofrenia (I believe, I don’t believe). I’m sure both cannot be true. Very often I think I deserve more but since God’s rightous probably that’s what I deserve. I tried do good for so many people and to care for as much people I’m very discouraged because as a reward I see it like receiving this infirmity and sickness … Something have to change or I’ll be gone …END—–

The Weekend

Monday, November 26th, 2007

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In Saturday we had a Training day at Design.BG. It wasn’t too interesting the Boss spoke a lot about a new hierarchy being implanting into the corporation. Big mouths were said “how we should not anymore say that we make sites in the office or out if it.” He said: “We doesn’t make sites! We make projects and solutions for the client” :). Mitko has come back in Dobrich in Saturday (For the weekend) and Sunday and we went out twice. I haven’t touched computers much this weekend :).In the morning in Sunday I went to Liturgy and after that we had a small walk with Stoyan. After that I watched the 3 seriesof “From Dusk till Dawn” nice vampire story btw 🙂 And yes I like the style of Tarantino.

At some time I feeled very alone like nobody cares about me. I called Lily and we spend some good time together :).

END—–

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Sunday, December 2nd, 2007

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Yesterday I spend a lot of time outside with Lily. We went to the fountain we watched film at home. The film was called”Wild Hogs” it was supposed to be a fun commedy (only supposed to be). This week is going to be a taugh one.We have to present a project at Marketing Research.

I have to write a 600 words resume about International Enterprice,also we have to make a presentation in Culture. Today in the morning i was on a Liturgy again. God’s grace ishere ! The week passed without serious server issues (Thanks God). Today I checked some logs of one of the serversand I observed oddities there. I checked the crontab and I realized it’s because of a crontab. The dumped databaseis a HUGE one 2.6G (bzipped).

I asked in irc.freenode.net #mysql, and the guys there pointed me to a similar issuewhich was supposed to be an MySQL bug when dumping large database. Since the dumping databases were of a type MyISAMI ofcourse could have used mysqlhotcopy.

But in the end the solution to the problem was removing “–opt” option fromthe backup opts of mysqldump and passing “–skip-opt” to it (I suspect this would slow the dumping process a lot).But I don’t care it is much better (a slow dumping), than hanging the whole Webserver and interrupting the site’s visibilityover the Internet.

Btw I started playing Quake 2, it’s cool but a little annoying there are too many tunnels and veryoften after I kill most of the bad guys I spend a lot of time searching for keys and stuff .. :).END—–

The New Year

Thursday, January 3rd, 2008

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I’m still up here. On the New Year’s eve I was on a party more than 35 ppl were there. All kind of ppls fromMetalheads to Hip Hop maniacs, (ganja addicted) and ofcourse Ja (Rasta) fans. Almost the whole days Iplayed Dune 2 (Great Game, I play with Harkonen :)). The New Year was normal. Nomen bringed a winewhich costs 100.3 lv, the wine was good. Around this celebrities I started eating a lot and I’m on a wayto get fat. BTC are terrible we don’t have internet in the office now for almost 24 hours. This Winteris fierce. There are snowstorms around, and we even have a water regime. Yesterday I was out on a coffeewith Lily :), it’s a good thing that she is around.END—–

Geri’s Birthday

Friday, January 18th, 2008

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The day before yesterday, I was in a pretty bad mood and decided to went out. I went to the Mino’s coffee and accidently it happened that Geri a friend of mine had a birthday it was refreshing to spend some timewith real people even thought I thought about all’s behaviour and particularly “how hipocrity they are”.I drinked two glasses of wine for which Miro (Geri’s husband) said it smells like socks. Good heavens my nose was stalled. Yesterday I was out for a coffee with Lily :). 

The weekend was a sort of peaceful.Servers and everything runs fine thanks to the Lord! (ofcourse). I’ll end the post with a quote fromthe bible through the small program called “verse”.

Here is the quote” “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him…” II Chronicles 16:9 :)END—–

Feeling Bad

Saturday, January 27th, 2007

Reading Time: 2 minutes
Well I’m not so sick anymore. I’m feeling bad emotionally spiritually. I’m not sure. I have no idea what’s happening in my life. I don’t see the guidance of God. I’m having sexual thoughts and wan’t to sleep with some female, I guess this is not good since I’m a christian. Actually I really don’t have idea what to do with my life. FUCK I’m so LOST! I was out with Lily for a pizza and a coffee smoked 4 cigarettes then went to a new Market here in the town. Well the market was very brighty and clean, on two stages the one was a food/bevarage market. The other with tech stuff. Some time before we went to the market. My mood got fucked up and I stopped talking. Well shit why the Hell I’m here. I have a re-exam in Monday. It was supposed to study at something today. But my state didn’t allows me too. I just want to lay somewhere and die. I’m so lost I feel spiritually broken again. How much, how much will this thing continue. When will God bless me with that which my soul desires? Will I be alive for this moment? I’m wondering more and more. I’ve read some of my bible after I went home some prophecies about the End Times, the book was Ezdra. After that listened a little of NiN feeled even more bad than before right now I’m listening again to http://www.christianindustrial.net. Lord where are you leading me too? Why don’t see a vision for my life? Does my life have really a meaning and what it is. I’ve googled for some time for a phrase like “Christianity not working for me” and found a page which claimed. There is no life after death as classical Christianity claims and that heaven and hell are internal states experienced, here on earth, I think maybe there is some truth in this to some extent. Guess time will show (Or maybe Death).

God’s Grace

Monday, March 5th, 2007

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God was graceful to Habib and it looks like he hear our prayers. UK Visa was granted to Habib for the maximum period of 6 months. Praise be to God for this! Also ORDER’s tuition fee seems to stay the same as in the news in the universite website is said “By The Grace of God .. etc.” :]Also great thing it is there is peace in my home. Today I was on church and on the way for the church I met Bonchev, he was drunk and carrying accordion. He wanted to go to the Church in that state.But in the end I was able to convince him not to come to the Liturgy (It would be fun if he entered the church drunk hardly staying on his feets. I had some spiritual problems during the day mainly the Python Spirit is trying to attack me, that’s awful spirit in the name of Jesus Christ I command you to go in hell where your place is! Amen. I played today some MAME games, watched Cartoon Network,I was out on a coffee with Lily. Mitko and Habib come in the end from Sofia.

Quiet and Peaceful Day

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

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The day was Peaceful and Quiet. After I wake up Narf called and we see each other in front of the college, Nomen was ther elso we drink coffee on the fountain. Mitko told us experiences he had from Sofia, we laughed a lot. Then we go to the Chineese restaurant with Amridikon and Needless. I like the Rise with Vegetables there really awesome food :]. After that I bought “A Practical Teacher in C” and went home. Lily come home for 10 minutes, I read the Holy Bible for some time then I read The Living of the Martyr’s. Later Niki and Habib come home, and was my guests for some time. After that I take a shower chatted a little with Order and now I intend to go to bed. Thanks to God for taking care for my life and giving me peace and joy through his Holy Spirit. Thanks God!END—–

The last two days

Saturday, March 17th, 2007

Reading Time: 3 minutes
The last few days went smoothly in general No drastic problems in work which was a great blessing for me. Praise the Lord Oh My Soul :] We lost two afternoons with Narf writting (actually translating) a text for a presentation we have in Business Communication scheduled for Tuesday with Mrs. Svetla Stoyanova (a vice rector) in the college. It became like a tradition the eating of rise with vegatables in the new chineese restaurant. I used to watch two very intriguing films about the Quantum Physics/Mechanics which is on a way of prooving the spiritually exist. On a low level the Universe is even more magnificient than on the surface. I also watched very interesting film about “The Secret of the Water” which was based on a scientifically researched fact that water is “alive” and have memory just like a computer RAM. Yesterday Night we went out just for 20 or 30 minutes and Met a friend of Nomen who offered us to drink beer. He told us a very interesting fact that in Dubai Arabian men who are usually close relatives walk over the streets holding their hands Like gays (For their traditions this is something like great honor), even in the pubs this close relatives used to sit one in other :]]. After that we were just on our way home when we met Paco we walked for some time and speak about our Faith in Christ. Paco said he didn’t feel spiritually okay the last days so I tried to confort him about some truths that flowed out of my heart. Today I was on a coffee with Lily and She got depressed again (I really hate this thing). I heard a great Christian Industrial band on http://christianindustrial.net/ (Dead Turns Alive), what I personally like in the band is the old school sounding they were able to put in their music, actually they played EBM here is a link to their video you can enjoy http://www.deadturnsalive.com/video/influence.avi .I was in my grandmother this evening I really feel bad about this old sweet granny. She is so good hearted and like a model for what we the believers should be sadly she has real problems with her Ears and Seeing the Diabet is making her suffer badly… I hope she’ll be better. I prayed The Lord to help at least a little with, Laying her hands. During the day and in the mornings and the Evenings for a group of ppl and the World in general. There is also a good news. I speak with Slavcho (A brother in Christ), a month ago he suffered an amputation of his right leg. Slavcho is in a really terrible material/financial state. Every month he is living on the edge. Living with 120 lv. per month where 40 lv. from the sum he has to give for the rent of the apartment they live with his aunt. But God knows our needs and did a glorious thing for him. Slavcho told me his testimony today. He was in two protestant Churches in Plovdvid where he is currently for examination of his health state after the amputation. He told his story how he grown as an orphan how he believed/received Christ and how hard his life was. One of the Churches member decided they’ll collect tithe will donate him the money. Yes Praise be to the Lord Shabbaoth The Lord of Hosts.. HalleluYah . Seems like there are some real servents the world has. Whilst the Devil is taking inch after inch after inch of the earth leading so many blind ppl to his Satanic Kingdom. I looked at http://adsx.com. The probable technology matching the Prophecies for which we can read in The Book of Revelation. The technology now serves 500 Big Hospitals in the USA. Only for 5 or 6 months they put it in a new 200 Hospitals … But I guess this is just the beginning of the integration of the “Number of the Beast” Into the World Economy/Trade/HealthCare/Structure …END—–