Well I’m not so sick anymore. I’m feeling bad emotionally spiritually. I’m not sure. I have no idea what’s happening in my life. I don’t see the guidance of God. I’m having sexual thoughts and wan’t to sleep with some female, I guess this is not good since I’m a christian. Actually I really don’t have idea what to do with my life. FUCK I’m so LOST! I was out with Lily for a pizza and a coffee smoked 4 cigarettes then went to a new Market here in the town. Well the market was very brighty and clean, on two stages the one was a food/bevarage market. The other with tech stuff. Some time before we went to the market. My mood got fucked up and I stopped talking. Well shit why the Hell I’m here. I have a re-exam in Monday. It was supposed to study at something today. But my state didn’t allows me too. I just want to lay somewhere and die. I’m so lost I feel spiritually broken again. How much, how much will this thing continue. When will God bless me with that which my soul desires? Will I be alive for this moment? I’m wondering more and more. I’ve read some of my bible after I went home some prophecies about the End Times, the book was Ezdra. After that listened a little of NiN feeled even more bad than before right now I’m listening again to http://www.christianindustrial.net. Lord where are you leading me too? Why don’t see a vision for my life? Does my life have really a meaning and what it is. I’ve googled for some time for a phrase like “Christianity not working for me” and found a page which claimed. There is no life after death as classical Christianity claims and that heaven and hell are internal states experienced, here on earth, I think maybe there is some truth in this to some extent. Guess time will show (Or maybe Death).
Posts Tagged ‘christian’
Feeling Bad
Saturday, January 27th, 2007Johny Cash one of the greatest musicians of our time
Tuesday, May 17th, 2011I remember about Johny Cash’s Hurt song as the nine inch nails cover was a very favourite one to me for quite a few years, in the meantime I reviewed Johny Cash’s musical works and decided to check some biographic info about Johny Cash I was surpirsed to find out Johny Cash used to create a lot of music about the Lord Jesus Christ and shocked by the fact he had a long period in his life in which he was a devoted Christian!
I’m really happy to find out this info as one I’m a christian myself and two he is one of the most influential musicians of the last 150 years, not to say of all times.
His biography is quite a bizarre one full of falling and standings, anyways i would skip the talks now and suggest for my readers to enjoy Johny’s Cash few notable songs:
Johny Cash – Hurt Video
Johny Cash – Ring of Fire Video
Johny Cash – San Quentin (Live From Prison)
Johny Cash – Redemption Video
Johny Cash – I walk the Line Video
Johny Cash – God’s Gonna Cut you Down
Awesome music ain’t it ? 🙂
Pomorie Monastery Holy relics from st. George’s day pictures
Friday, May 13th, 2011Here are the pictures of the holy relics which were temporary sojourned in Pomorie’s Monastery for veneration in the the period 04.05.2011 – 14.05.2011.
It’s been like a tradition that the monastery is blessed with having a different saints holy relics on the Monastery feast day (St. George’s day).
This year the holy relics the good tradition by God’s grace was continued as the holy relics of the saints:
- Saint Great Martyr George
- Saint Venerable Macrina
- Saint Marina
- Saint Cyprian and Saint Justina
were for veneration in the Monastery Church called also Saint Great Martyr George / Sveti Velikomachenik Georgi
Here are the pictures of the holy relics I was able to obtain:
Saint Great Martyr George hand holy relics
Saint Venerable Macrina Holy Relics (hand bone)
Saint Cyprian and Justina Holy relics
Saint Martyr Marina Holy relics
There were also few other particles of saints which are permanently in the Pomorie monastery and christian pilgrims can freely go there to venerate them so I would not post pictures of this holy relics here.
What is really striking is that all the Holy relics had a very specific odor (similar to Roses) but as the monk Father Sergii said (an Odor not of this world).
God’s grace can be felt with one’s spiritual heart when he is near the holy relics of this great saints, the monk father Sergii also told me that the reason for the odor is that God testifies in through the odor that the holy relics belong to his holy saints.
Each saint holy remains had a different (parfume like) odor, it’s really amazing and hard to believe if you don’t smell it yourself but I have smelled the scent myself, the almost 15th century old bones (miraculously preserved by today) emits a specific beautiful odor.
The preservation of this holy relics for all this centuries is another great miracle of God, as any normal not hermetically preserved bone kept for veneration for all this years would have decayed by so far, however this saints relics are obviously not!
As you can see truly Great is God in his saints! Glory be to the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit now and forever and ever. Amen!
st. Georgi’s day in Pomorie Monastery st. great Martyr Georgi pilgrimage of the relics of saint great martyr George
Saturday, May 7th, 2011the relics of saint great martyr George
Currently I’m once again in Pomorie’s monastery for the Saint George’s day
It is the second year I take the time to come for a pilgrimage in Pomorie’s Monastery st. great Martyr George (Georgi).<</b>
I’m named after the great Christian saint (It’s my Name day today :)!) and I do wanted to receive a spiritual blessing here in the monastery.
The believing Orthodox Christians this year could receive a spiritual blessing this year from the Monastery as some of the Holy Relics of many great saints are temporary in the monastery for the Monastery’s feast day which is the day we commemorate our great Orthodox Christian martyr saint Georgi.
It’s unique that this year by God’s grace the monastery has temporary received a small particle of the holy relics of st. George.
The pilgrims could come here and does venerate the great saint martyrs for which I thank God for being allowed by his providence to be here in the monastery and venerate the holy relics.
Here are few photos of the Holy relics from the monastery, on the pictures you see the holy relics of Saint Cyprian & St. Justina on the right, st. George’s holy relics in the center and st. Macrina’s holy relics on the left.
On the picture above you see the Abbot of Pomorie monastery Father Ierotei (who is a truly great father and a wonderful spirited man !) with the holy relics (bones) of saint Macrina on his left.
On this last picture you can see the holy relics of the Pomorie’s monastery embedded into icons (the two icons on the right).
I thank God for blessing me with being here in this holy cloister and blessing me with being able to venerate the holy martyrs relics and through this bless me and strengthen me.!
It’s important to say that we the orthodox Christians had the tradition to venerate our saint holy remains as a way to venerate God himself in accordance to the holy bible psalm which says Great and Glorious is God in his saints!
I’m sorry to provide my readers with this bad quality pictures, I’ll try to put some better quality pictures of the holy remains in very short time.
Being able to show this holy remains to other orthodox christian brother and sisters is also a great grace and blessing which by God’s grace was given to us the sinners! Just to close I’ll say glory be to our God – The Holy Trinity now and forever and ever amen!
Thomas Sunday (Doubting Thomas) the end of the bright Paschal Week
Sunday, May 1st, 2011
Today in the Orthodox Church, we commemorate the great miracle of our saviour Christ appearing to st. Apostle Thomas, who failed to believe to the rest of the holy apostles that they have seen our saviour alive.
Thomas wanted said that he won’t belief if he doesn’t touch and see the incorruptable risen body of our saviour Jesus.
Our Lord by his great mercy has appeared once again to the pupils dinnering with them.
Thomas was with the teachers and the door was locked (as the fear of persecution for Christ’s testimonial was among the aposltes).
Suddenly our Saviour entered the room where all the pupils were gathered through the locked door (a Glorious miracle inconceivable for our minds).
As the Lord knew about Thomas weak belief and his disbelief in his prophecised Resurrection in the third day, when Christ entered he has addressed Thomas and told him to come forth and see and touch his wounds and see that a spirit has no bones and flesh, (obviously Thomas erroneously thought that the resurrection from the death would be in spirit and no physical body will be present (this kind of belief today is also wide-spread inside many heretical christian groups)).
The Lord continued on and told Thomas, “Thomas you have seen and believed, now blessed is those who haven’t seen me and believed”!
Here is part of the daily troparion:
Touch my rib with a hand, Thomas, speaks Christ, and come and touch (feel) the scars from the nails.
With faith do test it, and be a believer and not a non-believer. Thomas has touched with a finger to the Master and loudly shouted:
"You are my Lord and my God, most merciful Glory to you!"
This Sunday is also the day marking the end of the bright week of the Resurrection.
Let we all the Orthodox Christians be a believers as Thomas and be blessed in accordance to our saviour’s word, as we haven’t seen the Lord’s Risen glorified body as Thomas and the rest of the holy apostles did.
An Orthodox Christian movie worthy to see (Ostrov)
Sunday, July 26th, 2009Two days ago I’ve downloaded a movie really worthy to see. The movie is russian and is named Ostrov (An Island). It’s a fictionary movie about a 20th century Eastern Orthodox monk whose warm prayer possesses miraculous powers and has a clairvoyance gift from God. Moreover the guy is living his all life with a guilt of a murder he was forced to commit in his early days during the WW2. I’ve watched the movie twice for the last 2 days I was so inspired. Yesterday Order (Ivo) a friend of mine from Varna was a guest of mine so I was quite happy. Today we first went for a holy Liturgy in the morning with Static and another friend of Static known under the name (Duf) into the temple Holy Trinity here in Dobrich. Right after the church service we’ve collected Ivo from home cause he was still sleeping and went for a drink Together with Amridikon. Quite a nice time. Now I’m back home blogging. I haven’t used beryl for quite some time and I started using it since a couple of days and I have to say it’s quite handy to use. Two days ago I’ve also watched the new Terminator movie (Salvation) to generalize it ain’t a bad movie if you just want to watch something with blows and action but still nothing to compare against the golden Terminator 2 (Judgement Day). This is mostly how my days are passing by. Thanks be to God for everything!END—–
A few Christian bands recommended by a friend of mine
Friday, September 4th, 2009I’ve recently been to a friend’s work place for a reason and in the mean time I got a couple of suggestions of a nice christian bands. This are:
1. ApologetiX – A nice christian band who does cover a famous rock / metal / pop songs changing the lyrics with a christian bible based lyrics. More about the band here .
2. Andy Hunter – A Christian DJ who happens to be the creator of the music of some famous computer gmes like for example Need for Speed Undeground.
3. Glenn Kaiser – A band named after the guy Glenn Kaiser who was a long time guitar player and a singer in the great famous christian hard rock band “Resurrection Band†or as we fans call it in short “Rez Bandâ€.
Next I’m going to list a couple of nice Christian Industrial bands worthy to listen.
1. Argyle Park
2. Klank
3. BrainChild
4. Chatterbox
5. Circle of Dust
6. Cyber Shadow
7. Juggernautz
8. X-Propagation
Something else really valueable to me is a band called: Neuropunk Ru, I’ve downloaded this from another friend of mine known under the alias Static. I have to express my gratitude to him for sharing this valueable peace of music with me.END—–
Learning to Control Yourself the Christian Way
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009Since some time I’m thinking about the importance of a way to self control yourself in
order to achieve your goals.
That is something I’ve been always tought in the University.
Howevery the control approaches were always contradictiory to what I read in the holy bible.
Today while googling I came across a nice Christian document discussing “How to learn to
control yourself.†The documnet is written by a protestant pastor. Even though I believe
many of the things explained there does really fit to most believers. There is a part
in the document that rejects the ascetism and probably monks way as a mean to achieve Self Control
in the long term. From an Orthodox Christian point of view I have to emphasize that this is completelywrong.
Another thing that probably does not fit well with christianity is the suggestion by the pastorto write down on a piece of paper what you think your mission for life is.
This approach as ‘ve red before is suggested on many websites where people convinced in buddhism and other
religions does have the same spiritual value as christianity. This of course is a blatant lie!
There is only one salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ who lived gave himself for us (all the sinful people on earth)
and raised from the dead in the third day. As the dead couldn’t hold him as God in the flesh.
Enough talk, here is a link to the article Learning to Control Yourself by Pastor Steven J. Cole .END—–
How old is the Orthodox Christian Faith?
Monday, September 28th, 2009While Googling I found a nice explanation on the age of theOrthodox Faith 🙂
Here is a link to the original:
How old is the Orthodox Faith?
END—–
Time Changer an interesting Christian Movie (In the Protestant tradition)
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009Today I’ve watched a nice American Christian movie in the protestant christians tradition.The movie is called Time changer
The story progresses with a couple of guys in an american bible seminary in the 19th century.
One of the professors is eager to publish a new book on morals, which doesn’t stress
on our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ alone. One of his fellow colleagues is against,
stressing the importance of giving credit to Jesus Christ (the son of God and our Saviour),
for teaching us the true way of godliness. The two guys can’t come into a mutual agreement
about the issue. The writer of the new book couldn’t get the blessing of the seminary,
which would make the book inferior in the distant 19th century. Therefore the
author of the book strives to receive the acceptance of his colleagues. After failing
he is ready to do everything even if it contradicts the teachings presented in the bible.
The professor unwishful to endeavor the new book does explain to the professor author of the
book his motives for showing clear the relation between the Lord Jesus and the teaching of
morals presented in the Holy Bible. It seems this guy had the oportunity to travel in the
future through a gadgy machine invented by his father who has already departured.
This professor had the oportunity to witness what is the fruit of skipping to associate Christ as being the
one stressing on the importance of keeping God’s moral standards in the 21st century.
The professor decides that the only way to convince his fellow colleague author of the new
book is to sent him right into the future and let him witness why teaching of morality
without Christ is pernicious. Finally after witnessing all the insanity and ungodliness created
in man’s life as a consequence of not sticking to our lord’s teaching, while traveling back
to his own time through the time machine the author of the new book rewrites his book to make
it be in accordance with the scriptures. The movie ends with one of the professors testing the machine
trying to send the holy bible as far as he could in the future. However he cannot send it to 2070,
then he tries a 2060, no luck as well etc.. A good end since it points how close we are to the SecondComing of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ!
END—–
