BRAINS by Voltaire Well, hello there, little boy, don't be shy, Step right up; I'm a reasonable guy! Don't be frightened by the look in my eye, I'm just your average evil meteor from out of the sky. Well, I'm just shy and scared of this place-- I'm just a fish out of water from outer space. You can see that the trip has left me tired and drained, So why don't you be a pal -- and bring me some brains? Go down to your neighbor's place. See the dull expression on his face? You'd doing him a favor if you brought him to me, He ain't using his brain, he's just watching TV. Go down to Mr. McGee's, He hasn't had a thought since '43, His brain is the portrait of atrophy, He ain't using it, why not give it to me! Chorus: Brains, brains, I won't lie, I'll eat their brains 'til they're zombified. Sure, they might think it's deranged, but they won't give it a thought after I've eaten their brains. Brains, brains, it's okay -- it's not matter if it isn't grey and if, at first, they think it's strange, they won't think twice if they don't have a brain. Go down to the won-ton shop, My fortune cookie says that I just can't stop. I'll suck the noodle right out of their heads, And half an hour's later I'm hungry again. Creep into the Donut Stop Sneak in, tiptoe past the cop. Pick me up a cruller and a cupful of tea And any other sweetbreads you happen to see! Chorus: Brains, brains, I won't lie, I'll eat their brains 'til they're zombified. Sure, they might think it's deranged, but they won't give it a thought after I've eaten their brains. Brains, brains, it's okay -- it's not matter if it isn't grey and if, at first, they think it's strange, they won't think twice if they don't have a brain. Brains, brains, I love 'em, I need 'em my tummy jumps for joy when I eat 'em Big ones, fat ones, short ones, tall ones, They're so delectable, especially the small ones. No time to cook 'em in a skillet, my belly's rumblin', and I got a need to fill it I don't fry 'em, the heat would only shrink 'em, I just grab myself a straw and I drink 'em. Oh! You've been swell to go around and bring me every single brain in town. But with all these brains I can't help but think that there isn't one left out there to drink. Now 'fess up, boy, come on, heck, is there someone that you're trying to protect? Bring her down here to meet her end and I promise I'll be your bestest friend. Chorus: Brains, brains, I won't lie, I'll eat her brain 'til she's zombified. Sure, she might think it's deranged, but she won't give it a thought after I've eaten her brain. Brains, brains, it's okay -- it's not matter if it isn't grey and if, at first, she thinks it's strange, she won't think twice if she don't have a brain. Brains! Bring me her brain! Bring me her brain! Bring me her brain! THE PIE WHO LOVED ME Words by Maxwell Atoms Music by Gregory Hinde, Drew Neumann and Guy Moon Hector: We all live in a beautiful world, the rocks, the trees, the tiniest squirrel, billions of people with bright smiling faces, boys with golf clubs, young girls with braces, puppies, kittens, the mighty condor, these are a few of the things I adore. I love my island, I love my money. Stomach: I love ham, I love jam, I love biscuits with honey. Hector: Our world is filled with incredible beauty and that is why I feel it's my duty to send forth some troops to invade the coastline, to crush and destroy until it's all mine! Major Doctor Ghastly: Boron is my favorite of the periodic elements, I built laser-guided robots programmed for self-defense, I forged a giant Buckyball that's not too soft and not too dense. But now I'm cookin' pies for science, Einstein would beam with pride if he could see my brilliance all baked up in a pie. The crust is made of micro-tiny carbon-ion fiber coils the filling is composed of several fattening and tasty oils, cooked in an oven till the surface froths and boils. And still I'm cookin' pies for science, a dioxyribonucleic stew, too thick for an appliance, so I hop right in the brew. My boots were made for marching, and that's just what they'll do, if only they weren't ruined from wading in this goo! Chorus sings: Pie! Pie! Pie in the sky! Oh, there's pie in the sky, and it makes me wonder why it's flying through the air in a ship that driven by a bear. The crust looks flaky, the dough's not cakey, covered in a rich meringue. Man: I'll go fat and lazy, my brain all soft and hazy. Chorus sings: The pie in the sky makes me want to love you. General Skarr (spoken, a la Riff Raff from Rocky Horror): There is pie in the sky and that pie I'm going to fly into your eager little faces even you there with the braces. Hector: This plan makes me sing, these pies will make me king! Boskov the Bear: Ruh ruh ruh ruh RUH Ruh ruh ruh ruh RUH! Woman: I fear that I am unable to get up from the table. Woman and Man duet: The pie in the sky makes me want to love you. President: Look, there's pie in the sky and it makes me wonder why you're letting Hector Con Carne win. Wipe that pie goo off your chin! Soldiers: We can't fight the bad guys. We'll devour more pies. While we grow in girth, someone else can save the earth. President: It's making S.P.O.R.K. useless and full, their bodies are limp and their wits are dull. We fail at everything we try. Who will save us from this dastardly pie? Chorus sings: Yes, more pie, I don't care why the bad guys do what they do. 'Cause I'm gonna eat more pie there's no reason why, we'll just chew and we'll chew... until we're through! Hector (reprising his first song): I love this beautiful world we all live in, there's nothing for people to do but to give in. They are too full and too lazy to fight me, thanks to my tasty and dangerous pastry! I have no body, I haven't got wrists but I can still rule this world with iron fists! mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha, mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Cod Commando: Blah blah BLAH Blah blah BLAH Blah blah blah bl-bl-bl blah blah blah-blah-BLAH! Blah blah BLAH Blah blah BLAH blah BLAH blah blah BLAH blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! (repeat, with feeling) Chorus sings: na na na I'm so full I cannot move. Wish I could get up and groove, but I had too much pie na na na na. Soldier: I can't fight you any longer, I wish my will were stronger but I had too much pie Chorus sings: na na na na Why do I feel this way, what's inside that pie? na na na na Why do I feel this way, what's inside that pie-ai-yai-yai-yai? Skarr (spoken, as before): Look at me, my stomach's aching from Doctor Ghastly's baking. Now I've had too much pie, na na na na. Cod Commando: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Boskov the Bear: Ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh Man: But we've had too much pie All (holding hands): na na na na ooo ooo ooo ooo Stomach: What's inside that pie? All: na na na na na ooo ooo ooo ooo Hector (spoken): Yeah, Major Doctor, what's inside that pie? Ghastly (spoken): The secret ingredient is love! Chorus sings: ooo ooo ooo ooo na na na na Hector (speaking in a disgusted tone): This stinks! I'm going home!

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